It is no lie- breaking up is hard to do! The time in the beginning of the relationship with our love was magical, powerful; in one word – amazing. Over time, our relationships and lives in general experience growing pains – it happens to the best of us. For some couples, growing pains can strengthen the bonds in a relationship. (Look baby, we made it!)
For other couples, growing pains can wear on the bonds of the relationship. Being with one another can feel more unpleasant than pleasant and potentially exhausting.
There are great times ahead on the other side of a relationship that has lost its sizzle. Until that time presents itself, realize that the days ahead will be challenging- to say the least. To help with dealing, here are five strategies to manage the typical emotions that we experience after a break-up:
1. Disappointment, sadness, and grief. These are typical feelings that a person experiences after a romantic relationship has ended. The grief makes us want to sit around and not do anything. To get out of this rut, get active! Do something that makes you feel skillful and fabulous!
2. Validate, validate, validate! Something that will delay the grieving process is invalidating (judging) yourself for feeling the way you feel. It is important to validate your feelings after the loss of a meaningful relationship. Remember to remind yourself that it makes sense you feel sad, you miss someone you care about.
3. Laugh a little. This may feel counter-intuitive and it helps! When we laugh, our brain releases this lovely neurochemical called Dopamine. Dopamine is released when we smile, smiling makes us happy, more dopamine is produced, we feel happier … get the transaction here? Beyond that, laughter boosts our immune system and our tolerance to pain. Your heart will be healed before you know it!
4. Practice accepting reality. Fighting against reality will only induce suffering. Pretending that the break-up never happened or constantly pushing it out of your mind instead of working through the disappointment will only make things difficult. Accepting reality does not mean that you approve of the things that went down in the relationship. It simply allows you to process what happened and the space to recreate your life.
5. Be kind. Think about doing something nice for someone. Make a gift for someone, volunteer at your favorite organization, or take care of some extra chores around the house. Okay, okay; two out of three ain’t bad!
If you or someone you know would benefit from receiving therapy, please call me at 702.550.9035 to schedule an appointment. I am happy to provide additional support and guidance.
Until next time …